I won't divulge the reasons behind why this morning has been absolute shit and resulted in my venting and crying in my office to a co-worker. I just won't. What I will say is that working out has become my own form of medication for my high stress job, self-diagnosed depression, and life in general. This morning I felt like all of the work I've put in on maintaining my mental health was of no use. I felt defeated and frustrated about my inability to keep it all together. After all, I've worked out everyday with the exception of our vacation in Vegas, and even then we were walking all over the place.
That is, until I confided in a co-worker about this self-medication plan I've been on (and the reason for the title of my blog). She simply said, "well, just think about how much worse it would be if you weren't doing all of those things." And she's right. If I hadn't been working out so much, I know I'd still be ranting and crying and not holding it all together. I have a lot for which I should be (and am) thankful, and just one breakdown isn't the end of the world, nor is it the end of the day.
Here I go, back to work. It's a ho-hum Friday and it might require another latte from Dutch Bros, but as my co-worker pointed out (damn, she's smart), the rapture is coming and I better get all of my food indulgences in before I am sucked up into the sky!
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